Saturday, December 10, 2011

Day 4 - Excuses

I am proud of myself. I could NOT go to sleep last night. I watched The Holiday, the I remembered I had taken the sheets off the bed to wash them. I HATE to put sheets on a bed. HATE IT! So, I decided to sleep on the couch rather that put them on at 11PM. So, I then watched The Wedding Date and it ended up being 2:30 AM and I was still awake. ACK! So, I slept until 9 AM this morning. I really wanted to use that as an excuse not to work out. Today was walk day. On top of that it is cold, I looked and it was 36 degrees. If I went to the gym I'd have to do more with my hair and look a little better. I told myself I cannot do this to myself. Maybe people don't understand but excuses have been a daily thing. I can find them anywhere. They are the things I fight a horrible battle to win... or overcome, because I definitely have not been winning.

So, I changed into some workout clothes. Slapped my hair up in a messytail. Walked outside toward the track and was blown away by the cold wind. So I went to the gym. A little embarrassed at how homely I look with no makeup and a messytail. Very self conscious to be the fat girl walking on a treadmill where they are lined up facing the outside with all the bikes, ellipticals, and other machines behind you so that all those people watch you walk. Did I have a horrible panty line? Do you see back rolls with each step? These things go through my head... and have been excuses to not do it. Trying to wrap my head around the fact that it is for a time. If I do it I will not have to worry about panty lines and back rolls, cellulite, being short winded, everyone seeing me sweat. I sweat a LOT. What is up with that?   

I've joined a group on FaceBook of women who eat clean and work out. They are so inspirational. These are women who are winning at this. Some have weighed what I weigh... 201 lbs. Some weighed even more and have lost hundreds of lbs. Not by starving, but by eating a clean diet of healthy foods and working out. I hope this can be some accountability to me, certainly motivation when I don't feel like it and I see them post they did their workout or ate clean through a vacation or party.

Excuses? I'm trying to rise above them. They are only challenges.

1 comment:

Julie said...

When your at the gym do you look at others and judge them? I bet not, so I'm betting they aren't either. You should see me at 5 in the morning. I am barely awake I know very well I need a shower and my hair is pulled back making me look really old. When I first started at the gym a year ago (a tad over a year) I hated the thought of others too but I just turned up my music a little louder and tuned out the gym, the world.
You will do awesome. From what I've read so far you will do well. Being a mama of 5 and making a home I know that taking care of yourself is hard but you need to do it for you so you are good for them. Good luck with your goals.
Take care and God Bless!!