This is a tough one... to be okay with where you are even if you want to change. It is if you are honest with yourself. I struggle to be okay with me, to not look at myself and say, "Fatty,"..."Lazy"...and a myraid of other names. Why do we do that? I am working hard to love myself, to be an encourager, to treat myself with my inner dialogue as i would a friend. When we constantly think negative things we put so much pressure and weight on ourselves we can't possibly win. It is too much.
I've been trying to plan ahead on how to workout and get in the habit and stay consistent when I wake up and it is raining, when I wake up late, when I am under the weather, when a kid is sick and has to go to the doctor. So many things happen in the life of a mom of five, so I have to learn to work around those obstacles. I have to take the time when I have it, be able to change plans and adjust rather than give up.
I've been trying to plan out what to do when my schedule isn't working so that I reduce the stress and pressure that has caused me to quit. I have a plan in place for when my plan is messed up... the backup plan. I do that to reduce the overwhelming burden. Well, the overwhelming burden of mean internal dialogue is just as important to let go, to stop. I have to learn to be okay with where I am. So, I look fat working out... you can see rolls, cellulite, the sweat dripping from my unconditioned body. It's okay. I am doing it. I am doing what I have to do to reduce all that. If I don't nothing changes. So, when I put on clothes and aren't happy b/c I don't look like the model does in it.... it's okay. I can only dress to look as good as I can and be okay with that. Keep going so eventually I'll have more selection and look better. I can't lose all this overnight and be all slim, it will be a process. I can't go run a mile, but I can walk it! I can keep working until I build endurance and can go faster, start adding intervals, and one day I will be able to run that mile! I am not used to getting up to workout, but I have to keep working at it and Just Do It. Hopefully one day it won't be the struggle it is today.
Be okay with where you are.... I think I am beginning to get it!